This may be the hardest post, yet, because I feel forced to share from a more vulnerable spot. Since starting this blog, there have been a wide array of responses: 1. “Thanks for being real and vulnerable.” 2. “I’m proud of you.” 3. “Should you say so much or share so much?” 4. “There’s too much fluff.” And on and on the comments go……If I were putting myself out there for notoriety, truly nothing innately good would come to fruition. Yes, God can take impure motives and still use these places as a catapult for something greater. Here’s the truth: I write and share because I feel His pleasure by showing up, by being real, and by exposing my heart.

My prayer has always been: “Lord, if I can encourage just one with each post….” He has been faithful. Most people are not called to step into this arena; most want no part in it. However, as this culture continues to shift with technological advances so becomes the need to address concerns and place a gospel imprint in our hearts and minds.

Culture has shifted in just a few short years to such an infatuation with connectivity by e-mail, Facebook, texts, IM’s, Snap-chat, Twitter, Instagram and the like. Underneath it all, the layers of photos and the layers of comments, we can hide in a perfectly constructed personae. There’s the ability to filter and enhance a vacation shot. There’s the ability to put the best picture forward. There’s the ability to show where we have been and with whom we have been. There’s even the ability to show the celebrities whom we have met. And I plead guilty to all the above. I’ve enhanced the color on an image. I’ve shared pictures from Drew Holcomb to Bob Goff. I’ve made statements about meeting Prince William and on it goes. Truly, I think that I just want to share my excitement and joy in meeting such fine folks; however, underlying it all, I am certain it is a matter of belonging. I want to fit in. I long for connection, a sense of belonging.

Kids and teenagers, you are bombarded with a culture preoccupied by personae and images to fit into your world.  The right clothes. The right date. The right hairstyle. The right group. The right team. The right high school. The right college. The right ACT/SAT score. The right grades. Satan would love nothing more than to place you in a situation where you feel like conformity is essential to who God made you to be. Truth be told, God adores you just how you are with your likes and dislikes; and He actually designed you with such uniqueness that He actually longs for you to shine in your giftedness. You are not fully known by your associations, contrary to popular belief.

To the young adults, the middle aged, and the seniors, this issue of belonging does not get any easier. It hides behind what club membership you hold, what school in which your child was admitted, whether or not you have accumulated wealth, what your occupation and social status are,  and even whether you have a great extended family who participates well in the life of your family. The comparisons are endless: it’s a dead end. It’s like going down the road and hitting the cul-de-sac; and you are sent spinning.

So, what is under the narcissistic culture that demands we look and act a certain way? I, for one, struggle immensely with the comparisons. I am not alone. I know this. I also know if we are not willing to discuss what it is doing to our children and to us, then harm will come. Certainly, I am a very imperfect vessel to discuss these nuances ; but I have lived in a home of three teenage boys and have witnessed firsthand what has occurred. The connectivity and the instant  response fuels our thoughts that we matter. More than food, more than shelter, more that life itself, we want to belong, to matter. We yearn for a meaningful existence and yearn to make impact where we are.

One of the great authors of Christendom was Henri Nouwen. He struggled desperately with the need to belong and to live a journey of authenticity. An accomplished theologian who taught at such institutions as Harvard and Yale, Nouwen yearned for more. It was, then, in the most unexpected place that God met this deepest longing during his service as a pastor at L’Arch Daybreak in Canada. While there in the midst of the mentally disabled , Nouwen was assaulted with a peace and love he had never experienced. If you have never read, The Return of the Prodigal Son, please consider.   Another stalwart in the faith was Brennan Manning; his works include: The Furious Longing of God, The Ragamuffin Gospel, and Abba’s Child.  A Franciscan priest and a recovering alcoholic, Manning brought a simple yet profound wisdom to the reality of God’s grace and love:

“We have gotten so used to the ultimate Christian fact—Jesus naked, stripped, and crucified—-that we no longer see it for what it actually is. We are to strip ourselves of earthly cares and worldly wisdom, all desire for human praise, greediness for any kind of comfort, spiritual consolation included. The gospel is a summons to be stripped of those fine pretenses by which we manage to paint a portrait of ourselves for the admiration of friends.”

And there’s Martin Lloyd-Jones who did not hesitate to follow God’s call out of the medical profession  into the pulpit. A 20th century leader, Jones affected the culture of his generation.  Then there’s Elisabeth and Jim Elliot who did not hesitate to share God’s radical love and mercy with those who caused them great harm. The biblical examples and the modern day lists are packed. From Katie Davis‘ serving Christ in Uganda  to Kara Tippetts’ well documented fight with cancer and showing up to live well despite her disease. From Wilberforce’s fight to abolish slavery to Eric Liddell’s serving Christ in the mission field in China after the Olympics.  Wonder if these faithful had conformed to the world and had not surrendered to a higher calling? Wonder if they were so consumed by belonging that nothing was accomplished for the Kingdom?

Because we are human and we desire to belong, let’s all, regardless of age, allow Zephaniah 3:17 to penetrate deep within our calloused  hearts that He rejoices over us and sings over us. He truly delights in us this day; our defects do not define us nor do our deepest longings.  Conformity to this world kills the very heart of the Christian.  God says that we were fashioned by Him, for Him and gifted in ways to serve. It’s only when we find our deepest longing with Jesus that He gives us a sense of  calling within our culture.

When we are able to rest well in who we are in Christ, then and then only, can we stand in the midst of the comparison wars. When our thinking goes into the loops, we need to choose another road. It may be bumpy. It may be unfamiliar. There may be no light to see beyond the turn. This road, however, leads to a connection and a belonging that no human was ever made to satisfy. None.