“Grief is good when it mourns what God hates, but it’s dangerous when it questions God’s goodness and love.”
“Discouragement focuses more on the broken glories of creation than it does on the restoring glories of God’s character, presence, and promises.”
Paul David Tripp
Words do not suffice to expound on the years of 2020 and 2021 from a global, national, and personal pandemic; yet, I will attempt. The images of suffering have been seared into our memories with the cataclysmic death toll which signifies loss and pain that we cannot begin to fathom. Many have died. Many have suffered. Most are affected greatly. Not only has suffering prevailed, but also has a climate of divisiveness in our culture. The images I see: the elderly woman dying alone being loved on by a total stranger; the hospital worker with exhaustion lines on his face due to mask wearing for hours; the refrigerated trucks holding the overflow for the morgues; the countless halls of overworked and overcrowded saints who literally have slaved and served on the frontline; the single parent who has lost her cherished job; the never-ending lines at the food banks from all socio-economic backgrounds; the police brutality and its consequences; the 2020 graduates, not celebrated or honored or having their right of passage; the weddings changed or postponed….. There is no limit to the images. There is no limit to the repercussions that this time will have in the years and decades to come. What we have just witnessed and are still living in is a story with themes and narratives still being written.
Like everyone who reads this piece, our family has suffered but not to the degree of most. I have remained silent for a long time simply because our pain has been significant. Our personal images were of a son who not only battled stage four Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and survived but of the same son who married during the pandemic at Duke Mansion. Married at a place and time that was forbidden by the owner. Married and kicked off property. Married and abandoned by his wife for months. Yet, my most personal image is the one of the couple crippled by the effects of mental health challenges. Anxiety. Depression. Eating Disorders. Suffering. Divorce. Trauma is very painfully real; and no one escapes it in this life. Not me, not you, not our families.
In the midst of the backdrop of the pandemic pain, we have courageously stepped into our personal story. Some of you have experienced far greater tragedy with cancer diagnoses and recurrences, spinal cord injuries and the paralyzing new life, and precious lives lost way too soon. We, as a couple, have just begun to understand the trauma toll of the last five years from the staggering losses of journeying through a son’s cancer and its uncertainties to the monumental, brutal shock and pain of losing our dear friend Glenn due to gun violence and to the newlywed shattering. Yet in the midst of it all, there is a good God of redemption.
The above words were written in April of 2021; however, I could not push the publish button. The pain was too raw; too fresh; and the risk was too significant. Yet, as I read these words today, I was struck with the honest cries of heartache and God’s steadfast ability to redeem. Suffering in this life is guaranteed but Jesus promises us His Presence. And, He has abundantly given it to each one of us as we have recovered. He has blessed us with far happier times and far happier memories that we can be certain He is writing a new chapter. He is proving to our family that He is able to redeem far beyond what we can imagine.
Jesus longs to pursue. He longs to heal. He longs to redeem. Where today can you yield to the big picture and allow your mind to be imprinted with His sheer goodness, His abounding love, and His willingness to meet you in your story? Please, set your heart and mind on the surety and beauty of this glorious sunset and allow His grace to meet you on this road to redemption. I am yielded to the Only One Who can bear the weight of loss, are you? What is holding you back?
He longs to captivate you with His love.
